Chorus for Daddy

Everyone who speaks to you wears a mask

Voices muffled and half their faces hidden

You used to like to see people smile and make them laugh

Can you see their eyes smiling and sense kindness from the care they’re giving?

I turn up in 2 pairs of gloves, gown, mask and face shield

I’m guided to your bed and I can’t tell it’s you

It’s a version of you that’s never before been revealed

Gaunt and frail, lacking your spirit and essence, not an image I’m used to

You are as thin as a young buck in his prime

Gone is the inflated belly your previously struggled to shift

The cancer that bloated your stomach, giving you a hard time

The illness achieving your desired shape in a manner so swift

The illness stole your excess weight and makes your breathing arduous

The effort to stay alive takes its toll

Your life is supported by machines and oxygen masks as living is tortuous

And here I come to bring comfort to your soul

It’s not a simple undertaking to address the critically ailing

My brother and mother who visited before said words are hard to find

Without words, our presence cries out, an expression of bewailing

Of love and memories of lives entwined

I stroke your head, hold your hand and call my sister on video call

I read messages from your loved ones from your phone

My sister and I tell you how much we love you with anecdotes big and small

You came into this world by yourself, but right now, you are not alone

We pray for you and sing our favourite choruses

Familiar tunes that will accompany you on your way to glory

If you leave us, we make a thousand promises

We will always say your name, live as best we can and tell your story

As I leave you, I draw near as I have something to disclose

“I don’t want you to worry about me if you have to go

Don’t worry about who will love me or look after me” as heaven knows

My life is filled with love and I’ll play it out joyfully like an allegro

I sensed my dad relax as a glimmer of peace descended

He’s always looked after me from the start

The following evening, my dad’s life ended

I didn’t know that was the last time I would see him, the last time I would touch him, the last time he would hear me say “thank you” and “I love you”, the very last time

I will sing choruses, for daddy loved music

I will sing, for daddy, for he is in my heart.