Yesterday I went to a gig and heard beautiful music, songs and romantic lyrics. It almost brought tears to my eyes – it was so heartfelt and lovely. Isn’t Love Amazing!!!
I was asked this week which themes I write about. I listed the themes, love being one of them. On reflection, my writing seems to be about being ‘out of love’. For several years I struggled to find a partner and this brought me immense sadness. I was heartbroken, not from being in an inadequate relationship but from not being in a relationship at all!
The poem I’m sharing today is one of my earlier poems. It’s about the grief I felt about being alone which coincided with a time that I was generally sad. In those days I found the idea of hiding away appealing.
I have moved on from these feelings now and my views on finding love are very different.
The Hideout
My light shone bright before it burnt out
My heart was full and I gave all my love to you
I walked tall
But now I choose to crawl
And I only come out at night
When you’re nowhere in sight.
I don’t use my eyes. I know which way to go
I don’t want to see people staring at me
I don’t feel any love
I’m no-one’s company
I go underground
And I shut out all the sounds.
When I awake, dirt is covering me
I hear the birds singly sweetly in the trees
And I observe nature’s loving ways
Is she on holiday?
It seems to me, that every living thing
Has someone or something wondering if they’re ok.
Lying on a private road, gazing at the sky
Wishing on a shooting star that you were in my life
Hiding in a cornfield and watching the sun appear
Revealing there’s no one there
So I hide away
For another day
Because I can’t bear
No-one being there
And I don’t want to see
How great life can be
When I’m alone
My whole being groans
And if I return
My heart will yearn
To find a great amour
Is what I’m looking for
And if it doesn’t come about
I will give out a shout
And I will DIE!