The Hideout

Yesterday I went to a gig and heard beautiful music, songs and romantic lyrics. It almost brought tears to my eyes – it was so heartfelt and lovely. Isn’t Love Amazing!!!

I was asked this week which themes I write about. I listed the themes, love being one of them. On reflection, my writing seems to be about being ‘out of love’. For several years I struggled to find a partner and this brought me immense sadness. I was heartbroken, not from being in an inadequate relationship but from not being in a relationship at all!

The poem I’m sharing today is one of my earlier poems. It’s about the grief I felt about being alone which coincided with a time that I was generally sad. In those days I found the idea of hiding away appealing.

I have moved on from these feelings now and my views on finding love are very different.

 

The Hideout

My light shone bright before it burnt out

My heart was full and I gave all my love to you

I walked tall

But now I choose to crawl

And I only come out at night

When you’re nowhere in sight.

 

I don’t use my eyes. I know which way to go

I don’t want to see people staring at me

I don’t feel any love

I’m no-one’s company

I go underground

And I shut out all the sounds.

 

When I awake, dirt is covering me

I hear the birds singly sweetly in the trees

And I observe nature’s loving ways

Is she on holiday?

It seems to me, that every living thing

Has someone or something wondering if they’re ok.

 

Lying on a private road, gazing at the sky

Wishing on a shooting star that you were in my life

Hiding in a cornfield and watching the sun appear

Revealing there’s no one there

So I hide away

For another day

Because I can’t bear

No-one being there

And I don’t want to see

How great life can be

When I’m alone

My whole being groans

And if I return

My heart will yearn

To find a great amour

Is what I’m looking for

And if it doesn’t come about

I will give out a shout

And I will DIE!